What an amazing way to start the day!

Promising myself to stay on the positive side of the street, I try and start every Sunday with Pastor Joel Osteen. He is amazing and just speaks right to my soul. I wish I could bottle up all positivity and keep it in my pocket. Technically speaking I do because I download his podcast every week to my ipod but wouldn't it be great to have him as your friend.

Today Pastor Joel spoke about how not to be negative. He gives such great insight about judging others and finding the wrong in everything. He offered up two wonderful stories. The first being a couple who had participated in services at Lakewood. The couple were tattooed from head to toe and pierced as well and when they came to meet with him after the services he mentioned that at first look he had some negative thoughts. He stopped it before it started! Amazing because having judged someone by appearance I know how difficult that can be. He than opened himself up and said that the couple were really kind people and the man was a member in a metal band who told him he hadn't been to church ever till he heard Pastor Joel. That man than gave Pastor Joel a cd and told him to play track 7 because he wrote it after hearing Pastor Joel's message. Amazing!

Another story Pastor Joel told was about another couple. The wife while looking out her window saw her neighbor hanging her laundry to dry and quickly judged how the clothes looked so dirty. She kept telling her husband to look and asking him how they could wear clothes like that that were so dirty. The following week when the women awoke she noticed more laundry being hung up. This time the laundry was pristine immaculate even. The woman told her husband who than told his wife how he awoke bright and early and cleaned the windows! Reminding us with a great story how often when we judge others, we really are judging ourselves.

This last story made me think so much about a conversation with my Brother that I've been having lately. I feel as if Brother Bear is always being negative towards me and putting me down. He yells at me rather than talking to me and dictates to me rather than talking to me. What is my role here? Do I speak to him the way that I want to be spoken too? Am I following the Golden Rule?

I've been thinking about the way I talk to him and why he speaks to me the way he does. Do our conversations come from a loving place or are we taking each other for granted? Sad to say we're both taking each other for granted. Allowing myself to become lazy and quick to be negatice. Now I can't change my Brother Bear but I can change myself and hope that some of it rubs off. I know no one is perfect including myself. Far from it actually!

I am a masterpiece in progress always growing and more importantly always learning.

I will:

• think before I speak.


• speak words of love.


• respect others.


• practice not gossiping with anyone about anything.


• be positive and see that glass half full.


• write it out.


• clean my own windows.


• remember no matter what, we are all children of God.


• stop being a fault finder.


• magnify the good.


• spend my time improving myself not worrying about others.


• be supportive.


• stop allowing myself to be poisoned.


• be grateful.


• make lists of positive qualities about the people in my life and focus on them. erase the negative qualities.

Remember to wake up in positive thoughts and go to sleep with positive thoughts!

Stomping out the saboteurs!

It's hard to face the facts sometimes. You never want to believe let alone imagine that the people in your life don't want what's best for you.

It's so important to stomp out the saboteurs as if they were sparks of fire before they become a full blown 4 alarm fire. I am struggling with this. I just keep thinking if I start getting rid of people who aren't what I need them to be, who will be left? It scares me. I am not looking to change anyone. I just want people to respect me and treat me the way I treat them. If I am happy be happy for me! If I am sad, offer some encouragement! I would do it for you. I don't expect anything from anyone that I am not willing to do myself.

I know how important it is for me to be healthy mind and body. Yet it's more of a struggle than I can imagine. The story of "Job" *(from the Bible)* seems to be resonating all around me. For every positive image I imagine or most importantly occurs in my life, it all seems like there are so many more negative ones trying to keep me down.

I need strength. I need not to be afraid. I need to trust in God and in myself that being brave is what is best for me. Brave in the sense that if I need to move than I move. If I need to block people from my life that it is ok to do so. That God wants me to be happy and enjoy a flourishing life not one filled with sorrow and anguish. I need strength. I need to know it's ok to be selfish.

Selfish seems like such a crude word in this sense. I am not selfish at all. I am just so tired of always trying to struggle to keep my head above the water and tired of having it always pushed back down.

I need strength and guidance. I need to resist the temptation of wanting love so bad that I am willing to put up with so much garbage. I don't deserve anything less than what I myself and willing to give. Considering I am willing to give so much so should those people who are around me.

REMINDERS:

• I am strong.
• I am striving towards a healthy mind and body and will achieve it.
• I deserve good people in my life.
• I deserve to live a life with a positive outlook and positive reinforcements around me.
• I deserve more.
• I am happy.
• I am safe.
• I am never alone even though I feel alone.
• There are people in my life who want the best for me and I am one of them.
• This too shall pass.
• I deserve an abundant life.
• I am grateful for the life I have and the lessons I learn every day.
• I am going to keep pressing forward and let no one, MYSELF included stop me.

I am grateful for:

• having food in my refrigerator when so many don't.
• having a manicure and pedicure today.
• having money to pay for the things I need.
• Welshcakes for all the positive messages! Thank You so very very much!
• my house still being clean! *( sad to say, I think a clean house is right up there with passionate love making)*lol

*Hushing the negative!*

I home today... can you tell?

My beautiful day of sunshine turned into a mystical rainy day! It's been a day of discovery. I've been reading, writing, coloring, drawing and taken some snap shots to post here.

I've been reading a great many *blogs* today and inspirational books and I am so happy that what I want for my life crosses over to what my interests are. It's so important to surround yourself with what you like. Things that not only inspire but also allow you to reflect and get to know yourself just a little more. With each new page I turn and/or click I have noticed that the little demons inside me, try and tell me I'm not good enough, or I should be doing more, or remind me how I don't have kids or a relationship for that matter. Basically those little demons try and shout out all my short comings.

Well I am shouting back! I may not be perfect. I may not be a wife or a Mom but I am ME.

Who I am?

• I am love.


• I am open to possibility.


• I am enough.


• I am a teacher.


• I am a student.


• I am an artist.


• I am a writer.


• I am a sister.


• I am a daughter.


• I am a friend.


• I am beautiful inside and out.


• I am creative.


• I am mindful.


• I am able.


• I am capable of anything.


• I am a wife and mother to be.


• I am.


• I am inquisitive.


• I am inspiring.


• I am a child of God.


• I am a victor.


• I am equipped.


• I am a romantic.


• I am fragile yet strong.


• I am an optimistic.


• I am fun loving.


• I am kind.


• I am affectionate.


• I am...