Finding the positivity in caos...

The sun finally broke through. The rumor is it won't be staying for long but I am happy for what I can get. This weekend was pretty rough for me. I didn't leave the house and for most of it I didn't leave my bedroom.

I have a financial crisis. I am not good with money management at all. I wish I could say it's from living this lavish lifestyle but it's not. Thanks to the economy and poor choices and health expenses my savings is kaput, and I'm back living paycheck to paycheck. This is not how I want to live out my 30's. I want to move with in the next year and I'll need to save a quite a bit in order to do so. How did I get here and what do I do?

My faith tells me to put it in God's hands because anything is possible with him. I am making what I am making so that's pretty much solid. I need to generate more income and I need to budget the income that I am taking in. All of our pension plans and 401k plans have been frozen till the economy starts to bounce back, we hope. Yet I need to put a budget into effect and really buckle down my spending. Of course I need to pray too!

With no one but myself to rely on this is where it gets scary. Yet as I write this I'm reminded I am not alone. God is with me always. I need to have faith. I can do it. I can implement a savings regime and I can generate extra income and I can get debt free and I can put together more than enough money to move. I am capable of it. I know I am.

After my finances I am also weighed down with worrying about the health of my brother and myself. I have lost some weight and I am working on losing more. I need to utilize the gym membership I'm paying for. I need to be an example for my brother. Already our eating choices have gotten better I need to just keep on my program while I am at home. It seems when I am at work or I am out for the day all my choices are perfect but than when I am home for some reason I find myself picking and eating between meals. I know it's from boredom and that boredom leads to being lazy this the poor choices. I need to work on it.

I've quit the smoking and I am really proud of myself for it. I did slip up but than I got right back on track again and proved to myself , that I can do anything I put my mind to. It helps having my brother being supportive. He really gets upset making it so much easier. I am really proud of myself for quitting. I urge all of you to find it in yourselves to get healthy.

This weeks sermon reminded me to be a light to others. Again Pastor Joel Osteen spoke directly to my heart. I know from having panic attacks that being able to take the focus off myself and onto something else really stops the attack in its tracks and what better way to stop focusing on yourself than to think of others. Sure we need to care for ourselves. If I am not healthy I can't be there for someone else. The only problem I have is how do I protect myself from the one's that suck the life force out of you. Specifically my family. Is it ok, to really just be polite with them and build stronger bonds with my friends? Of course I am not including my brother with my other family members he's my best friend.

How do I keep them at arms length and build stronger bonds with the people who matter most? While at the same time learn to open my heart to new people and build new friendships and lasting relationships.

This is my year and as Pastor Joel Osteen says this is my Year of Supernatural belssings!