It's so important to stomp out the saboteurs as if they were sparks of fire before they become a full blown 4 alarm fire. I am struggling with this. I just keep thinking if I start getting rid of people who aren't what I need them to be, who will be left? It scares me. I am not looking to change anyone. I just want people to respect me and treat me the way I treat them. If I am happy be happy for me! If I am sad, offer some encouragement! I would do it for you. I don't expect anything from anyone that I am not willing to do myself.
I know how important it is for me to be healthy mind and body. Yet it's more of a struggle than I can imagine. The story of "Job" *(from the Bible)* seems to be resonating all around me. For every positive image I imagine or most importantly occurs in my life, it all seems like there are so many more negative ones trying to keep me down.
I need strength. I need not to be afraid. I need to trust in God and in myself that being brave is what is best for me. Brave in the sense that if I need to move than I move. If I need to block people from my life that it is ok to do so. That God wants me to be happy and enjoy a flourishing life not one filled with sorrow and anguish. I need strength. I need to know it's ok to be selfish.
Selfish seems like such a crude word in this sense. I am not selfish at all. I am just so tired of always trying to struggle to keep my head above the water and tired of having it always pushed back down.
I need strength and guidance. I need to resist the temptation of wanting love so bad that I am willing to put up with so much garbage. I don't deserve anything less than what I myself and willing to give. Considering I am willing to give so much so should those people who are around me.
REMINDERS:
- I am strong.
- I am striving towards a healthy mind and body and will achieve it.
- I deserve good people in my life.
- I deserve to live a life with a positive outlook and positive reinforcements around me.
- I deserve more.
- I am happy.
- I am safe.
- I am never alone even though I feel alone.
- There are people in my life who want the best for me and I am one of them.
- This too shall pass.
- I deserve an abundant life.
- I am grateful for the life I have and the lessons I learn every day.
- I am going to keep pressing forward and let no one, MYSELF included stop me.
- having food in my refrigerator when so many don't.
- having a manicure and pedicure today.
- having money to pay for the things I need.
- Welshcakes for all the positive messages! Thank You so very very much!
- my house still being clean! *( sad to say, I think a clean house is right up there with passionate love making)*lol
