Where am i? and What in the World am I doing?

After spending my morning with Pastor Joel Osteen and the entire Lakewood family, I always feel charged and ready to go. Pastor Joel is amazing, he just speaks blessings over you and recommends we all live life, ready to not only be a blessing to everyone but to be open to receive God's blessings.

I urge everyone to take a look and listen over at,

http://www.joelosteen.com/Pages/Index.aspx

Just purchased my tickets, for March to see Pastor Joel and the entire Lakewood team, I am so excited I could burst!

I've been writing off and on for quite some time now. I keep a paper journal as well and little pieces of paper mostly almost everywhere of my thoughts, ideas, symptoms, you name it. Especially in my pocketbook! *(and i wonder why it weighs so much)*

This year, 2010 I plan on making my best year yet!

I'm leaving my past behind and moving on and looking forward to the future.

I've filled in my calendar with plenty of me time, concerts to Celtic Women and David Gray to start. I urge you to give a listen to them both as well. Totally different genres but both melodic and awe inspiring.

I have also bought some wonderful projects to play with and learn how to at Michael's Arts and Craft store. I've been wanting to learn how to knit forever and hopefully, thanks to some instructional videos, I'll be well on my way.

I am also in the process of making an "Inspiration Board". A "Inspiration board" you ask, What is that?...

Well it's where I'll:

draw,design, hot glue gun *(so excited got my first one yesterday... it's a mini and it's purple, what more could a girl want?)* , create, play mostly in pictures and in words, all the things and places I want to see myself. So of course there will be a home, a family, words and scriptures from the Bible, beautiful flowers and greenery, a healthy life style, exercise tips and how to's and plenty of inspiration to keep me going! Did I mention, I bought some ribbon and my first ever hot glue gun?

I'll be posting pictures along the way of both my knitting projects, and my inspiration board.

If you have time... drop me a note on what you're hobbies are, what you do for inspiration and how do you stay creative.

Finding the positivity in caos...

The sun finally broke through. The rumor is it won't be staying for long but I am happy for what I can get. This weekend was pretty rough for me. I didn't leave the house and for most of it I didn't leave my bedroom.

I have a financial crisis. I am not good with money management at all. I wish I could say it's from living this lavish lifestyle but it's not. Thanks to the economy and poor choices and health expenses my savings is kaput, and I'm back living paycheck to paycheck. This is not how I want to live out my 30's. I want to move with in the next year and I'll need to save a quite a bit in order to do so. How did I get here and what do I do?

My faith tells me to put it in God's hands because anything is possible with him. I am making what I am making so that's pretty much solid. I need to generate more income and I need to budget the income that I am taking in. All of our pension plans and 401k plans have been frozen till the economy starts to bounce back, we hope. Yet I need to put a budget into effect and really buckle down my spending. Of course I need to pray too!

With no one but myself to rely on this is where it gets scary. Yet as I write this I'm reminded I am not alone. God is with me always. I need to have faith. I can do it. I can implement a savings regime and I can generate extra income and I can get debt free and I can put together more than enough money to move. I am capable of it. I know I am.

After my finances I am also weighed down with worrying about the health of my brother and myself. I have lost some weight and I am working on losing more. I need to utilize the gym membership I'm paying for. I need to be an example for my brother. Already our eating choices have gotten better I need to just keep on my program while I am at home. It seems when I am at work or I am out for the day all my choices are perfect but than when I am home for some reason I find myself picking and eating between meals. I know it's from boredom and that boredom leads to being lazy this the poor choices. I need to work on it.

I've quit the smoking and I am really proud of myself for it. I did slip up but than I got right back on track again and proved to myself , that I can do anything I put my mind to. It helps having my brother being supportive. He really gets upset making it so much easier. I am really proud of myself for quitting. I urge all of you to find it in yourselves to get healthy.

This weeks sermon reminded me to be a light to others. Again Pastor Joel Osteen spoke directly to my heart. I know from having panic attacks that being able to take the focus off myself and onto something else really stops the attack in its tracks and what better way to stop focusing on yourself than to think of others. Sure we need to care for ourselves. If I am not healthy I can't be there for someone else. The only problem I have is how do I protect myself from the one's that suck the life force out of you. Specifically my family. Is it ok, to really just be polite with them and build stronger bonds with my friends? Of course I am not including my brother with my other family members he's my best friend.

How do I keep them at arms length and build stronger bonds with the people who matter most? While at the same time learn to open my heart to new people and build new friendships and lasting relationships.

This is my year and as Pastor Joel Osteen says this is my Year of Supernatural belssings!

What a day! What a day!

What a day! I'm grateful for it all... even almost slipping and falling in the mud. It started bright and early for me, racing for the bus at 6am holding my skirt while I ran so it wouldn't fall down, there I am approaching the bus waiting for me, and I slide in like I've hit a home run, or I am scoring a goal. Thankfully I didn't hit the ground!

On my way to work I listened to my "Free to Worship" cd on my ipod. Free to Worship is a collection a christian songs that give thanks and offer shelter when you need it and just make you smile. All the while trying to focus on what I learned from Pastor Joel Osteen the day before.

I got a pass at work today. I was able to spend the day in a different department where I basically get to giggle the day away. Not a bad way to get paid I tell you! I was happy. I was blessed.

My health isn't where it should be right now. I have a disorder that causes you to be run down and just feeling blech. There's more to it but that's the gist. I'm trying some medicines to help and I'm saying my prayers. I know this will be my year of jubilee. I know that my health is being restored and my dreams are coming into fruition. I know God wants the best for me and that he will take me places I've never been.

Thank you Pastor Joel Osteen for keeping me mindful today I've what you taught me yesterday and all the days before. It is so very very appreciated. Through your teachings, I am expecting God to show up and his favors to profusely abound. I love that, profusely abound my year of freedom, restoration, abundance, health, joy, peace, anointing of ease, total victory, breakthrough, jubilee, release, increase, celebration! I receive it by faith! Amen and Amen...

What a way to keep positive, to have it stirring your soul. It amazes me how I feel that positivity tingling my toes working up my legs through my body and warming my heart. I feel it ...I feel it ...I feel it! I only need to have it permeate my brain like cement! This is my time to press forward. I am going to think positive. I am positive. I am going to love abundantly. I am going to forgive immensely. I am going to be.

With love and blessings profusely,

M

What an amazing way to start the day!

Promising myself to stay on the positive side of the street, I try and start every Sunday with Pastor Joel Osteen. He is amazing and just speaks right to my soul. I wish I could bottle up all positivity and keep it in my pocket. Technically speaking I do because I download his podcast every week to my ipod but wouldn't it be great to have him as your friend.

Today Pastor Joel spoke about how not to be negative. He gives such great insight about judging others and finding the wrong in everything. He offered up two wonderful stories. The first being a couple who had participated in services at Lakewood. The couple were tattooed from head to toe and pierced as well and when they came to meet with him after the services he mentioned that at first look he had some negative thoughts. He stopped it before it started! Amazing because having judged someone by appearance I know how difficult that can be. He than opened himself up and said that the couple were really kind people and the man was a member in a metal band who told him he hadn't been to church ever till he heard Pastor Joel. That man than gave Pastor Joel a cd and told him to play track 7 because he wrote it after hearing Pastor Joel's message. Amazing!

Another story Pastor Joel told was about another couple. The wife while looking out her window saw her neighbor hanging her laundry to dry and quickly judged how the clothes looked so dirty. She kept telling her husband to look and asking him how they could wear clothes like that that were so dirty. The following week when the women awoke she noticed more laundry being hung up. This time the laundry was pristine immaculate even. The woman told her husband who than told his wife how he awoke bright and early and cleaned the windows! Reminding us with a great story how often when we judge others, we really are judging ourselves.

This last story made me think so much about a conversation with my Brother that I've been having lately. I feel as if Brother Bear is always being negative towards me and putting me down. He yells at me rather than talking to me and dictates to me rather than talking to me. What is my role here? Do I speak to him the way that I want to be spoken too? Am I following the Golden Rule?

I've been thinking about the way I talk to him and why he speaks to me the way he does. Do our conversations come from a loving place or are we taking each other for granted? Sad to say we're both taking each other for granted. Allowing myself to become lazy and quick to be negatice. Now I can't change my Brother Bear but I can change myself and hope that some of it rubs off. I know no one is perfect including myself. Far from it actually!

I am a masterpiece in progress always growing and more importantly always learning.

I will:

• think before I speak.


• speak words of love.


• respect others.


• practice not gossiping with anyone about anything.


• be positive and see that glass half full.


• write it out.


• clean my own windows.


• remember no matter what, we are all children of God.


• stop being a fault finder.


• magnify the good.


• spend my time improving myself not worrying about others.


• be supportive.


• stop allowing myself to be poisoned.


• be grateful.


• make lists of positive qualities about the people in my life and focus on them. erase the negative qualities.

Remember to wake up in positive thoughts and go to sleep with positive thoughts!